Did I tell you that I hate enforcement officers??

"...Janji...Sebulan Sekali Saja..."

Sekali my ass!!.. These fellas have nothing better to do than to go round and terrorise the legal businesses around town. Seriously...they literally go around and give businesses headaches...
Sigh...In this world, nothing is without headache.. Anyway, apparently they were supposed to only give me 1 fine a month...and then they wouldn't give me so much shit on other days...

Lanjiao!!... Look at this...This month alone..!!
KNNCCB...and I'm paying taxes so that these fellas can come and give me fines!!..hahha..WTF!!

Anyway, I hate them..! Period!
They should just go and imitate the positions below... in their uniforms!!
That'll be kinky!...Mother fuckers..! (The only kind of mothers who don't deserve mother's day wishes!!!)

Well, these nights have been rather quiet for me...as you may have noticed...Not much for me to write about... (Maybe because I've been rather depressed lately...due to my injured hand!)
The swelling has gone down...but still hurts like hell....sigh..
Maybe its lacking the 'super duper quick healing massage' that the previous injuries used to have...hhaha...(hmm... you know I know can already..)

Phie Lote and Wasted Sperm came over at about 4am for supper and I managed to entice the Wasted Sperm to brush his teeth again....with introducing the keropok sambal combination!!
Hahaha....At first when I offered him....he said.."I brushed my teeth already."....then sipping his Teh O Ais (which was full of sugar..)... Stupid boy... "You'd have to brush your teeth again mah!!!"...Then only he ate...! After he tried one...automatically the hand kept taking more and more... (Brush teeth again ok?!...hahah)

Stupid Phie Lote has been feeling left out of the blog....so he suggested I take a picture of something and post it.. So here it is.. (With his stupid hand!!....again..)
Looks like Mickey Mouse eh?!..hhaha..(except for the stupid hand la..)

Nothing else was interesting already la....Today was a slow day for business.. Very bad actually..
Maybe its because all the people decided to be good children to their mothers and stayed at home. ...Oh well..hope business improves soon...If not...I'll never be able to change my car!!

Mothers Day!!

Sorry guys...no post.
Its mothers day...
Maybe later!

Happy Mothers Day to All mothers..
Maybe after dinner...:)

Aman Suria is a tad bit safer!!!

"...now go tell the others in the snatch thief club.."

If you guys remember in one of the previous posts a few weeks ago about the snatch thief who stole a girl's bag??.. Well last night there was somewhat something like that which 'almost' happened. This time it was pure desperation and stupidity in the choice of victim and location of the crime..hahha..

Apparently the 'modus operandi' of this crew of cons is to grab phones which customers leave on the tables and sell the phones somewhere else.. and sometimes they will wait until you take out your wallet to pay for something, they'll grab and run.... Well last night the 'snatch and con' crew was either unlucky or they really had it coming for them.. They came....sat at a table with a bunch of customers and tried to pull something off... until a guy which were one of their previous victims recognised them....all hell broke loose!!!

Watch the snippet of what I got from the CCTV....this guy came in from the streets and started bashing the 2 guys...haha... Have a look..

Whats stupid about it is....even after getting hit a couple of times...these fellas still managed to grab two phones which were on the table and tried to get away... OOOOOOO.....wrong choice man.. They tried to run...but as I said before....AMAN SURIA is OURS!!!...
We gave chase this time round....and happily for us....sadly for them....we got them!!!

I can imagine what was going through the thieves minds....maybe it was something along the lines of.....

" Whoa...bodohnya saya...kali ini mati......WHOA...banyaknya orang... kali ini mati... sorry la...aku tak berani lagi...WHOA....siapa nak tolong aku ni......kali ini mati...aduh aduh...sakit sakit... jangan pukul kotek aku....jangan....aduh....sakitnya....bagi 'chan' sikit bang....aduh...oww oww...kali ini mati...bodohnye aku....WHOA....kalau aku main main pengsan mungkin dia orang akan stop bantai aku...aiyoh..aiyoh...pengsan pun takde stop ni....aduh aduh...kali ini mati.... aiyoooo....bagi saya mati la....sakit..sakit..."

I couldn't believe that I had so much energy in me...it was like I was still in school running the 100m dash.... The 2 of them ran quite quickly...but our bunch....like rabid dogs....ran FASTER!...muahahaha.. Weapons all drawn....we 'kindly' introduced brands like 'Nike', 'Adidas', Birkenstocks, Gucci, Fung Keong 'safety boots (yes...the ones with the metal plating protection at the toes).... and Guinness to their faces and body parts... it was exhilarating!!!

All unto a point when the 'weapons' came out!!...there was no blood.. But how can we stop if there was no blood right??....So the 'bashing' continued for about 10 minutes... I shouldn' have lent the rattan stick to the drunk indian... He was ''oh very excited and accidentally struck my hand with the stick as I was grabbing the thief's neck...WHAM!!!...right into my hand!! (this time...left hand injured..sigh).... at that time...all the euphoria of 'public rage' turned into anger towards the drunk Indian man... our guys almost went for him until I stopped them..hahha...(lucky bastard..)

Oh well.... it was so fun especially when your mom and dad is watching!!..haha..
(Even my parents said they deserved what they got...but they still shaked their heads when it was over....but this time...they shake and smiled...and gave a little chuckle..) How often does that happen?!!...hahhaha...

Words of Advice : Don't try to be a hero when you see your 'accomplice' getting his shit beat out of him...

This guy came out of nowhere...and tried to help the two thieves....and said something like "Dia orang tak curi....telefon itu saya punya...' WHOA....bad choice la sohai... I turned and asked him.. "You sama dia orang ga??".... his reply was... "Ya... saya kaw... (elbow slammed into his face..)"
The world then came crushing on the 3rd accomplice!!!
Birkenstocks la.. Nike la...Adidas la....(quick think of more brands of shoes...!!) all also got la.
One 'accomplice' down on the floor....

Oh so suddenly...the night became so 'flashing blue' when a white car with blue lights arrived.. But after hearing the story...gave the crowd another 5 mins to do their worse... I swear the some old men and family men also had their moment of venting their anger on them...Haha..
Our weapons 'miraculously' disappeared also when the cops showed up...(we're seasoned enough to know what to do...hahah)

Anyway...we walked away and I was rubbing my hand already by now..
Sigh...Sakitnye... My mother was ready with the "Tit Tar Chau" (Chinese Traditional Medicine) already... When I asked her..."Eh...how come got this here?.."

Her reply was... "Cause I knew something like this would happen in a coffee shop business.."
I had nothing to say...hahhaha...

Oh well...like I said before... "AMAN SURIA is OURS"....
Notice the word 'AMAN'.....hahhaha....meaning peaceful??...
Maybe we should name it " Coffeeboy Suria"....hahhaha...

Anyway...for entertainment purposes I'll share a picture of my hand...don't laugh KNNCCB...its really painful....
(....I wish an angel would help massage my hand...hahaha...OOOoOoooOO!!) Wish only cannot ah? Pain lorr...

Hey...if you have previously been a victim to these kinda incidents... We have tried to give some revenge to these kinda people... and will constantly promise an 'ass whooping' for those who dare do this again... Rest easy as we are watching!!...

Word of Advice to the Snatch Thieves: Jangan cuba lagi...bodoh! (notice the language used..maybe you'd understand what kind of people we are talking to..oops...)

So much for an eventful night...

Nothing else happened after.... I spent some time with my good friend Phie Lote shooting some zombies!!...hahah....we found some new maps..!!

Till the next post!!

I hate enforcement officers...

"... Jadi....Macam mana mau cerita?.."

Its the standard line used when the darn enforcement people come... They are always seeking ways to make your life a living hell... I think I was born to be a rebel... And I've always been at loggerheads with the people in uniforms...
(...but I'm cool with chicks in nurses uniforms, japanese school uniforms...hahha)
Maybe because I have issues with people in 'power'....hahhaa..

They came one night while I was manning the counter and called me out to the front of the shop.. They started telling me that they are the new bunch of people in charge of the area and that the old bunch have been transferred. So...in my mind... I was thinking "3 cans of 100 plus and three red notes" for them to shut the fuck up and leave me alone...

Then I asked, so who is in charge now? They told me that they'd bring their boss around soon.
So obviously I said OK la. But I told them.... " Engkau bawak boss dulu, kita pergi tempat lain...kita duduk...kita cerita 'system' baru..."
I think I pissed them off...cause I didn't want to deal with them at all... then they started saying these things.....

PJ: Kalau kita datang... kena saman la...

Coffeeboy: Kalau kena sama.....kena bayar la... (snigger snigger...)

PJ: Takkan 'you' mahu kena saman??...Tak leceh ke?

Coffeeboy: Kalau 'leceh' pun terpaksa la kan??... Abang semua ni kena jalan tugas juga....

PJ: (looking confused by now...) Eh... kita cerita la...macam mana nak settle ni..

Coffeeboy: (looking even more confused)... Eh?...Aku ingat abang nak jalankan tugas??.. Jadi macam mana nak cerita??...(Hahaa....suddenly I was the one in the driving seat!!)

PJ: Tak-pe la bang... Suka hati la. (starts rubbing his humongous tummy and laughing..)

Coffeeboy:.. Haus??... Aku 'tapau' 100 plus hari ini....bila you bawak boss....kita cerita..OK?

PJ: Boleh la...Thank you ah... (Taking the 3 drinks..)

Coffeeboy: OK...jumpa lagi ah.... (..I was thinking...KNNCCB...bastards..)..BIG BIG SMILE!!
Sigh....I felt that these are the 'licensed robbers'...which I cannot use my weapons on...
Oh well... so much for law enforcement... Irritating!!

At least something good happened today. If you have been coming to the shop these days, you'd already notice a stall called 'Lok Lok Brothers' sitting in the side area. Well....they've finally gotten their asses up and running. Had a trial run yesterday...
It was nice...haha~!!!
There is supposed to be around 18-25 varieties of food...but because it was a trial run... many were not ready.. but tonight should have a better spread!! Notice the stupid 'peace' sign?... Thats the idiot Phie Lote..(look for the guilty face in the next picture..) He ate and did not pay!!...
Apparently, Mr. EZan RAmen is coming later to try to eat 100 sticks of the stuff. If he can do it... HE DOESN'T NEED TO PAY!!!... Haha...Will keep you guys posted on that challenge.
After all, he's a free man from today onwards!!
(EZan RAmen is a celebrity when it comes to my shop...all the stalls love him!... Unlike some people who blog negatively about him.... He's an angel..and a good catch... Your loss!!...KNNCCB!!)

If possible, I'll do a live coverage on his eating challenge!!.. Fuck HERBALIFE!!..haha

Flirting...a very very grey area...

"... They are not what they seem...."

As I was driving back to the shop last night after a friend's wedding dinner, I stopped to pump petrol and as usual, paid and started filling up. Suddenly, this car pulled up next to me and parked at the next pump.... phewwitt!!! (hot chick in the house...or in the petrol station!!...whichever sounds cooler..) I quickly decided to be cool and act like I did not notice her... (that failed badly...hahaha)

She was really quite brave to come and pump petrol in the middle of the night....alone..(hot and alone..yay!!) But I noticed that she was fumbling around her car like she was trying to find something.. So I looked at her at the corner of my eye and minded my own business (just in case she freaks out and starts yelling for help...you know these days with robberies and all..)
Eventually, I had to make eye contact...(rule no.1 of flirting..don't make eye contact immediately)..and smiled. (rule no. 2 of flirting...smile..cause you'd look like shit if you don't).

She smiled back and she looked even more stunning than before...haha. I thought to myself "Yes-lah....finally get to meet a hot chick!!".... So in my mind I was prepping myself on what to say and how to project myself as being helpful...and nice.
So luckily I was well dressed (apart from my normal coffee shop attire)... enough to project the image that I was not a pervert named Phie Lote..hhaha...
Eventually, she came over and the entire imagery of her being a slender hot chick shattered when she opened her mouth....

"Ehh....can you prease help me?.. I duunno how to oo-pen the put petrol thing. I look look look ...I kennot find la. Haha.. I'm so tellible (which i guessed was the word terrible).. Can prease help me ah?"

Whoa....if you guys know me...I really cannot stomach hot chicks who cannot speak English proper...hahha...automatically, the charm switch kinda tripped..hhahaha..
Obviously, I helped her out la... and guess what she said after....???

"Fank you so mush".....HHAHAHAHAHHA!!!

Oh well...so much for meeting a hot chick.... If she'd ask for a name and number, I'd give my name as Tan. Phone number 012-2962218. (Rule no 3 of flirting.. If you wanna escape the person...give Phie Lote's number...hahha..)

Hahaha...

I didn't la!!!...Stop complaining la Phie Lote...(I know you wish I did right??..hhahha)

Fun with Titles...

"...DVDs with extremely interesting titles..."

After a good nights rest...I came to the DVD shop at about 4pm today...and spent a couple of hours there trying to help out because the 'Pau Stealer' is on long leave...
As a few of us were talking about tendencies to turn gay..(eh..please ah..its not me who enjoyed the topic..it was this friend named 'Seven'..)

Again, please do not misunderstand... I have the utmost respect acceptance of the 'happy' people.. I think they are genuine and cool... (and I'm not being defensive...OK!..)

We then concluded to do a 'visual test' to see who was the most intrigued by the 'happy' films..
In the end...I was only intrigued by the titles...and not the visuals. (I swear....)
Here are a few titles which caught my eye...
I believe the people who came up with the titles were laughing as hard as I was.... Have a look...
This title was a spin-off from the movie..The General's Daughter. (haha...)
This one...from the Japanese horror film...'The Ring' (...something you insert into as well...hahah..KNNCCB!)
Joining the army will never be the same again...SIR!..
You guys seen the movie 'Hot Shots'??...by Charlie Sheen??...haha..
Hahaha...this one is pretty obvious!!...'Inn-Keeper'...hhahaa...
This doesn't look like Clint Eastwood?..Although the name 'Wood' is quite handy here..(geddit...geddit...Wood??)
This one...nothing needs to be said..good pun!!
Haha... a must have... Something about law en'force'ment....

Actually, there were more...but I didn't want to look too awkward taking pictures of 'happy' films... I stopped once the customers started looking at me funny... (I swear I could imagine what went through the aunty's mind when she saw me snapping pictures of the covers.....I'm sure you guys can imagine too...Shut Up...don't laugh...KNNCCB!)

The list goes on... Tarzan and Blane.... Sausage Party 3.... Fairy God Father... Monsters Balls... Hahaha... (I know some of you are getting excited already... Phie Lote!!! Stop scratching your ...)

EZan RAmen....lets go to TESCO!!... We can relive our fantasies...!!!

Indian Disco?!?!

"...Told you this place is the land of fun!!"

For the first time in Two Billion history, we had an Indian Dancer..haha..
Apparently these fellas came and started drinking since 10pm...and they stayed and drank until 6am....Sounds like an entire day's work..!! 8 hours!!...Thats their job.
They even brought their own sound system.. One car after another.
RnB, Indian Dance and even Ballads for the night...hahaha..

Have a look... I got one of them to dance in front of the camera...kekeke...
Have you heard about the 'Melbourne Shuffle'.....here introducing the 'Kayu Ara' shuffle!!!



As I came over to the shop rather late...(due to 'losing consciousness' after working long long hours)...I missed a lot of the Indian disco music..haha.. But I did get some of it...
Listen to the background music...you'll hear it...

Anyway...as some of you may know...the 'Ikan Bakar' stall has been discontinued for a while, due to the rising cost of fish. Plus, the plan is to change the 'Ikan Bakar' stall to either a 'Fried Oyster and Cockle' stall or maybe even 'Carrot Cake' stall. I also got the 'Ikan Bakar' fella to cut his own sign down and turn it upside down...
The Chinese characters apparently means "Ikan Bakar"...and he turned it upside down...to mark that the fish has died...hahhaa... (as most people would know that once a fish dies...it turns over...stupid!)

Oh well, he's thinking of opening a new stall...but not sure what yet..
I will keep you posted!!... But I suspect that he is getting lazy because NOW, he just got a girlfriend...so..a bit busy la...hahha. (see...Ikan Bakar got girlfriend...Tom Yum Noodles can go Bali with girlfriend...while the boss of this place...got his blog only...KNNCCB!)

Nevermind!!.... I can do it one. Just you wait...I'll put my wedding pictures up soon...!! Hahaha....Don't want girlfriend....Straight away get married...pop 8-9 kids out... Then once the kids grow up....get jobs....and start paying me RM1000 per month each...then I'll have income of about 8-9k every month.. Right?..
Thats forward planning for you!!...

Anyway..I better get back to work..
Until the next post!